I miss my twenties, but not for the reasons you might think. Being social and making friends just seemed so much easier then (when young) than it is now (when less young). For this month’s Science-Backed Sunday Snippet, let’s talk about social relationships.
Friendships are more important than many of us realize, particularly when it comes to our health. Lacking quality friendships or robust social connections can impact our physical and cognitive health in terms of disease and death. It is not just that we need to avoid things like cigarettes to live a healthy life, we also need to intentionally cultivate quality (vs. quantity) social relationships over time.
Fun Facts
Americans are more lonely and socially isolated than ever, which is a national public health crisis, according to the US Surgeon General. Social isolation, poor social relationships, and loneliness increase risk for stroke by 32% and heart disease by 29%. Loneliness may be worse for health (early death) than smoking 15 cigarettes per day, and obesity, respectively. Chronic social isolation and loneliness among older adults can increase risk of dementia onset by 50%.
Real Talk
It is harder to make friends as we get older. However, in terms of first impressions, others like us more than we think they do, which is what researchers call the liking gap. We often think a new acquaintance does not like us, which is far from the truth as experimental studies show. In addition, fear, low trust, lack of time, and being introverted are common barriers for people to make friends. The reality is we all feel this way to some extent (#human) and we just have to put ourselves out there.
Storytime
I had a networking call recently with a woman in my profession and she seemed very cool. And so, at the end of our call, I went out on a limb and told her just that. That I thought she was awesome, and I wanted to be friends as she lives in my area. Did I fear coming across as totally awkward? Absolutely. Was it totally weird? Probably. And yet she texted me the next day to make plans.
Key Takeaways
Bottom line: Social relationships are vital to good health and longevity.
Hot Take: No (social) risk, no (social) reward.
Application
Thank you for reading. To apply this Science-Backed Sunday Snippet, reflect on the three S’s below:
See: Examine your social self: are you lonely? Is there a part of your identity that is not fulfilled? Be honest.
Suppose: What roles do your friends play in your life? What needs do they fulfill? Do you feel good/better after connecting with them? If not, is it time to dial back the friendship, or let it go?
Switch: Challenge your fears and thoughts. What evidence do you have that X person does not like you? Or would not want to get dinner or watch the game with you? Have you asked them?
[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/07/well/live/adult-friendships-number.html
[2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4941172/
[3] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1745691614568352
[4] https://www.multivu.com/players/English/8294451-cigna-us-loneliness-survey/docs/IndexReport_1524069371598-173525450.pdf
[5] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34369248/
[6]https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886920302324?casa_token=jFruqWmzvvwAAAAA:3Qtg1rzLNZtz2xVvWjQHFMNmM-trCiJiosUKN_OsnQoxu4-lyAIPpF8PvPLFSdxzpXMYSU0i-g
Excellent snippet! Regarding “Americans are more lonely and socially isolated than ever,” society is still recovering–ever so slowly–from Covid years. In some towns/cities, social activities that were once available, are no longer. Regarding “social relationships are vital to good health and longevity” AGREE, even more so as we age.